The Dreaded Roster Picture

Laxers! We're here, your season is beginning. and you all get to suit up for your roster picture! I once had to take a roster shot, and I treated it like a mug shot. Yearbook photos and roster photos are actually my living hell. You get up in front of a man who has done a million of those today, gives you instructions that you could not possibly follow (“Shift your shoulder all the way over to the other side of your body, just keep angling…”). Having seen many rosters this year, I know that they’re incredibly valuable for a player. A roster pic helps put a face with the name (and the talent), and for the most part, they’re actually good pictures. But in the past few months, I have seen some standout pictures that actually made me question the sanity of the people having their pictures taken. So I put together these observations of mine on taking a roster picture that won’t make people hide their kids when they see it:


I know many of you will (correctly) scoff at this one. “Who would chew gum while taking a picture?” The answer is: they’re out there. I can’t comprehend what frame of mind a person would have to be in to continue chewing gum while someone is snapping away in front of them. I actually saw one picture (the player will remain anonymous…and hopefully shameful) where I could SEE THE GUM. I could view the gum being chewed by this player. I don’t care if he’s also saved 110% of the shots taken at him (he wasn’t a goalie, but just saying), chewing gum in a roster picture should make him eligible for some kind of penalty.

Loosen your collar

You’re not about to die, they’re just going to take a picture of you. There is no reason to keep your tie at strangling tightness. I get that you’re not generally that spiffed up (and if you’re that guy, ok then…) but please try to look comfortable! You’re about to start your best season yet! Look pumped, not like you’re suffocating. Which brings me to my next point…


I get it, you want your picture to show how intimidating you look. But the roster place isn’t the place for that, the field is. If you look murderous in your roster picture, I guarantee the other team isn’t going to go “Oh watch out for that guy, bro, he looks really badass in his roster picture.” You don’t look like a force to be reckoned with, you look like a serial killer. So please, smile. Look like you actually enjoy the sport you play, not like you were marched there by a death squad.

Wear something clean/non-wrinkled

Ah yes, college is where anything goes, where one could wear their “Dirty Girls Like Dirty Beat$” shirt and shorts around and no one should care (I’m not saying I wear that shirt…but I’m not saying I don’t), but your roster pic is a reflection of you as an athlete. Don’t just casually roll out of bed, think to yourself “Oh crap, it’s picture day”, fling on a button-down, and roll out. It will show. Look nice for your picture! Think Don Draper, not Carl from Caddyshack.

Follow me on Twitter, @marilynmonbro.

I’m Sammie, and am not A “lax babe”, I’m THE “lax babe”. My first big-girl crush was on a laxer, who let’s just say is still on the field (and in the box) today, and it’s only expanded from there. I live and work around bros, who I love and could hang out with all day every day. One could really even call me a “bro in babe’s clothing”. While lax is (with a bullet) my favorite sport, it’s not the only one I follow, growing up a diehard NY Giants/Yankees fan. If all I had was YouTube clips of MLL skills championships, my aviators, my Ipod, Summer days, pinneys, and laxers, I’d be one happy chick.

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