Government Officials Storm Epoch Lacrosse Headquarters

Government Officials Storm Epoch Lacrosse Headquarters

For Immediate Release:

Government Officials Storm Epoch Lacrosse Headquarters

Washington, D.C.:  This morning, at 9:00am CST, US Government officials stormed the Epoch Lacrosse headquarters in Eden Prairie, MN and seized computers, raw materials, testing equipment and inventory.  Epoch Lacrosse is being charged with conspiracy to overthrow the US Government and with purchasing unapproved military grade materials reserved for wartime preparation, peacekeeping efforts and advanced weaponry. An unnamed Government official confirmed Epoch Lacrosse was in possession of Military Grade raw materials not yet approved for civilian usage.

It was just two weeks ago that Epoch Lacrosse released its new Otter Mesh, which is made from military grade fibers, the same fibers used by the US Navy Seals.  We also know that Epoch’s Dragonfly line-up of lacrosse shafts use military grade carbon fiber. Epoch Lacrosse could not be reached for statement however the following text was found on Epoch’s company blog

The events that transpired this a.m. are a big misunderstanding. Epoch lacrosse is dedicated to bringing the most technologically advanced materials to the sport of lacrosse.  We are in no way involved in an effort to overthrow the US Government.  Epoch pushed the boundaries of finding new material to improve the sport of lacrosse; we may have pushed a little too far in the eyes of the government.

Live. Play. Be.

James Miceli

Principal, Sales and Marketing

Epoch Lacrosse

Please keep checking back for more information as this story develops.
Back to blog