It’s been a while since I’ve graced your presence, but Bradley Ryder Owens has been busy laxin’ all over the world – Tuscany, Amsterdam, Brazil, Greenwich. Now that I’m back home in my condo overlooking Manhattan, I’ve been busy entertaining the ladies and watching lax. The season is in full swing and lacrosse is on television more than ever. It’s spring, the weather is great, but something is missing.
It has become a Saturday staple to wake up from Friday night’s escapades and tune into the lax games on ESPNU or ESPN2. These momentous late Saturday mornings/early afternoons are almost always accompanied with a lox bagel and whatever beers are leftover from the previous night.
While watching UVA dismantle the Hop last weekend, my bros and I had discovered what was missing; The Quint Kessenich Drinking Game. Quint is obviously a great broadcaster and has done a lot for the game. Watching lacrosse isn’t the same if he isn’t in the broadcast booth. But Saturday could be even more fun if some common Quintisms during the Virginia vs. Maryland game at 8pm (Highlights below) were celebrated by chugging Natty Light. A few quotes that deserve binge drinking:
Drink once if:
• A player’s high school/ high school coach is mentioned
• He states that someone was a standout multi-sport athlete in high school (two more chugs if he mentions that coaches are now looking for multi-sport athletes)
• He mentions that a kid isn’t from a usual lacrosse hotbed
Drink twice when the following words are mentioned:
• Parity
• Growth
• Transcends
• Boys’ Latin
• Athlete
• Mismatch
Drink Three times when he’s referring to the following:
• “That should have been one more step to greatness” in reference to getting above GLE to shoot
• Refers to a kid’s father
• A Big-Little situation
• The 2006 undefeated UVA team
• Overhand and that’s a goal
• Former Johns Hopkins….
• M & T Bank Stadium
• Well-orchestrated dodges
Extras:
Shotgun a full beer
• During his “How To” segments
• If he is wearing a purple shirt and/or tie
• When a lacrosse situation is compared to another sport
So as you’re chillin’ with your boys this Saturday watching the game, make sure the mini fridge is fully stocked with some Natty Light, or if you aren’t a true bro, some Mike’s Hard Lemonade or whatever it is you hipsters drink.
Ttyl,
B.R.O.
Ps. the Virginia Vs. Maryland game is going to be epic. Check out the highlights from last year’s battle.
Note from the editors: Although Bradley Ryder Owens has created the Quint Kessenich drinking game, Lacrosse Playground does not advocate binge drinking of any kind. If you choose to partake in some adult beverages on your Saturday afternoon (or this weekend, Saturday evening), make sure you are 21 or over and be sure to drink responsibly. Bradley Ryder Owens blogs regularly for Lacrosse Playground. He can be reached at [email protected]
